Death of a Popstar
by EarnestInBerlin
Summary: Call it romantic. Call it cliche. Call it anything you like.


_It was at that park he told me about his dream. Another dream of wicked purpose that perturbed his curtained sleep, he leaned his head on shoulder as I listened to him talk about the his nightmare while not actually taking in what he was saying. He talked about dying. _

_I told him it's not such a bad thing. I meant it as a joke._

_He pulled away and cupped my face with is bony hands, he shook his head. His eyes were crying again, I'm tired of his childish weeping but I sat through all of his bawling before. I know I could survive this one too. _

_He shook his head, his bangs swaying to the movement of his head his tears trailing down a path on his face, "It is a bad thing Yuki"_

_I asked him why._

"_Because you weren't there to say goodbye" _

They said it was heart attack. He has been drinking too much. All the drugs that he bought on dark, nameless alley ways have finally been too much that they killed him. A couple of doctors said something about his system not strong enough anymore to fight back all the vices he had kept up inside. Everything stopped working for inside and out and that was the last.

He was doing the last scene of his music video and I really had to laugh at that. They've been finalizing In the Moonlight. When I flashed the television on at that time, I skipped the entertainment channel. I only found out when Mika called me on the phone to check out the news. I told her that I don't care, but she said it was all about my dear Shindou Shuichi. When I saw them replay the clip again and again in almost every station, I didn't cry. He smiled the winner smile that told the whole word that it was all right, and for a fleeting moment it was almost as if he was flying. His face was so free, his mirthless smile carrying some sort of burden that he finally let go. Hiro was the one who caught him when he fell while the whole of the studio panicked, wondering what on earth to do.

He threw his arms out to the world when he was just talking to me through that song. He told me he was waiting.

I clicked to the next channel and they had a closer view of his face. There was an impish grin on his face and for the last minute of his life he said something before he died.

Call it romantic.

Call it cliché.

Call it anything you like.

This station managed to tape him saying, "Where's my Yuki?"

_Shuichi was packing his bag and I let him do that. It's the end of our crazy love affair, most of his stuff was already in boxes and bags and all that was left was for him to go out. I never knew why I never tried stopping him that moment. I was just by the door and preoccupied myself watching the one thing that completed my life run away before my own eyes. _

_Maybe it was the fact that I didn't know how much he really meant to me that time. _

_When I try to picture out myself that night, I could remember curling like a ball in bed. I went below the white covers and hid myself from the reality that my lover boy was gone. When he left and when I was sure the door made its slam, when I heard the humming of engines outside and the sound of it speeding out of the garage and out of my life. _

_There was something about the whole thing that was so… sad. _

_When I hid beneath the covers that night, I pretended that Shuichi was just there somewhere in the house, humming and singing his little song, while I just trapped myself in my white cocoon._

I never wanted to live a life of regrets of broken promises and of shattered hopes.

It's just that they somehow found a way to get to me before I could run away far enough for them to lose sight of me.

I turned off the television and turned off the lights, I placed the last manuscript I written and placed a note on what I expect for the book cover. I turned my laptop off and the whole whose was dead with the sounds of my footsteps and the trickle of car keys to disturb the peace.

I like my car. It was black, elegant and fast. I jumped in started the engines.

Don't worry, brat, I'm coming for you.

_When Shuichi sleeps, I like to see him breathe, it's like these moments that keeps lovers awake until the rise of the sun to tell that you have wasted your time. I wrote this emotion in my books, but it was only this time that I actually experienced how it feels to let circles form underneath my eyes just to see another person sleep peacefully._

_I let my fingertips move across his face and brush the strands of hair that was dyed in the color of pink._

_Up to now, I refuse to believe the boy when he says that's his natural color. Yeah, and the world is flat and hell froze over. What's next, Santa Clause is coming in the middle of May?_

_I kissed the flat of his forehead and told him that even if he was a natural blonde, or a raven haired geek, I'd still love him anyway. _1

_I swore he giggled in his sleep. _

Rage Beat was playing in the radio, it was their final tribute.

Before I left the house, I went to the bathroom and opened the medicine box and spilled all the pills, the drugs, medicines on the sink. They were all there, the ones prescribed by my therapist and the one I bought from some nameless dealer on the streets. They shone like the rainbow that comes after the rain.

I grabbed a handful of my own venom and pushed them down my throat.

If I was going with my lover, let me end the same way he did.

I love you too, Shuichi.

My head was spinning, I was an idiot for taking in too much, but that was for my final adieu to the world. I want to be one with my pink-haired brat.

I forgot that none of the stations mentioned which hospital Shuichi's corpse lay. I forgot that I was just driving around the city in circles, going in too fast that even the devil might get scared sitting with me right now. I can't see anything right anymore, I know I'm on the right lane but why are there a couple of glowing lights before me?

Oh shit, I realized, twisting my wheel to the other side.

I was going to die.

_Yuki Eiri's car made a sharp turn, he went too fast and the other driver did the same thing. It only resulted with the large semi crashing with the tiny Mercedes _2_, it sent the vehicle spinning dangerously to the edge of the world. _

_It flew out to the dark and that was the last of Yuki Eiri._

"Can you hear me calling, Shuichi? I'm sorry it took a while but I finally got there, didn't I?"

**(SPACE HERE)**

A/N: Just read and review, thanks for giving me you time. )

1. I need this clarified, is Shuichi really pink or raven-haired? Or is he really a blonde?

2. And I don't really care what car Yuki has, I just typed the first expensive ride that could come to mind.


End file.
